Safety Planning Before you Leave the Relationship
Leaving an abusive relationship is the most dangerous time. Plan ahead and never let the abuser know you are leaving.
- Educate yourself on domestic violence. The Internet is an excellent source of information. Keep any books, brochures, etc. in a place where your abuser will not find them. Refer to the section below on how to clear your Internet files. You will soon discover that you are not alone, that there is hope and there is help.
- Talk to a domestic violence advocate or a trusted friend or family member to help in planning a safe escape.
- Start gathering items that you will need when you leave. Never risk your life for belongings and make sure your abuser doesn’t locate your “bag” or anything that may tip him off that you are planning to leave.
- Please know you are not responsible for the abuser’s violent behavior(s).
- The abuse is never your fault, and you are not to blame. There is nothing a victim can do or cannot do that deserves an abusive response.
- Domestic violence is not a relationship problem. It is the offender’s behavioral response that they choose.
- Abusive behavior is also a tactic used with the intent of obtaining and/or maintaining power and control over another individual that results in causing that individual harm.