Domestic Violence is a pattern of abusive behaviors used in any relationship to exert power and control over an other person. Children found in these households are often referred to as the “hidden” survivors. Similar to adult survivors, the abusive parent will use different manipulative/abusive tactics to control the children.
Different Ways a Child is Exposed to Domestic Violence
Children are often referred to as the “hidden” survivors in domestic violence situations due people focusing on the adults in the situation. Even when they are not the primary target children will be effected by domestic violence, they will also often be used as tools for manipulation and control by the abusive parent. Examples of how a child can be exposed to domestic violence include:
- Seeing the abuse.
- Hearing the abuse.
- Walking into the aftermath of abuse.
- Being forced to comply in the argument or participate in the abuse of the adult victim/their parent.
- Stalking by the abusive parent.
- Becoming the target of abuse.
- Involvement of law enforcement or the courts.
- Denied basic necessities by the abusive parent.
- Mandated visitation with the abusive parent.
Manipulation/Control Tactics Used Against Children
Children will often be used as a manipulative tool by the abusive parent, and will be used as a means of control over the adult survivor. Different tactics used can include:
- Manipulating the child’s views and beliefs.
- Abuser impacting their bonding with the child – offering selective attention.
- Pitting siblings against each other.
- Abusing pets to create worry and fear.
- Creating confusion by demonstrating positive experiences and then fearful ones – making the children “walk on egg shells”.
- Creating divided loyalties through manipulation – attempting to change the child’s view of different family members.
- Misusing visitation.
- Sabotaging relationships with the child – creating isolation.
- Abuser showing no empathy towards the children.
- Harms the child’s other parent/caregiver.
Statistics
- 3.3-10 million children witness domestic violence each year.
- In a household with domestic violence, there is a 45-60% chance of co-occurring child abuse.
- Children will witness 68-80% of all domestic violence assaults.
- 1/5 – 1/3 teenagers who are exposed to domestic violence will experience teen dating violence.